Writing Descriptions

Now that you have a solid summary and know exactly what happens in the story, it's time to create interesting and vivid descriptions that will make the players feel immersed in your story.

In this lesson you'll see a number of tips that will make the most difference when it comes to improving your descriptions.

Use the text-box descriptions sparingly

Most of the time the descriptions will be improvised by the GM, because looking through the adventure and reading a block of text for every scene would be very slow and tedious.

Write the "read aloud" text only for the most important scenes and characters. I recommend to prioritize the introduction the GM can read at the beginning of the adventure, the description of your antagonist, and the description of the set piece for the climax (but even these are optional).

For all the other scene and character descriptions, our goal is to paint a vivid picture in the GMs mind, so that when they're running the game for the players they could describe most things from their memory, using their improvisation skills.

Be Brief

Keep the descriptions concise and simple, aim to convey the most information using the fewest words.

It's better to point out a few remarkable details which stand out the most than to write a flowery wall of text.

Long-winded descriptions will slow down the game, they're not very engaging, can't be interacted with, and difficult for the GM to read through.

Short words are better than long words, short sentences are better than long sentences, short paragraphs are better than long paragraphs. Short adventures are better than long adventures.

Write as you speak

Write in your own voice. Picture yourself running the game for your friends, what would you say, how would you describe things?

Don't wax poetic - focus on the substance of your story. Remember, an adventure is not a novel, but a document designed for the GM to understand and run their story. Don't try to impress people with your vocabulary - optimize for simplicity and clarity.

Don't use the words and sentences you wouldn't normally use. Avoid "purple prose" (needlessly ornate writing that draws attention to itself). Aim to make your writing clear and easy to read, aim to paint a vivid picture in the reader's mind.

Read your descriptions aloud, and fix everything that's difficult to pronounce or doesn't sound like something you'd naturally say.

Imagine, then Describe

Use your imagination to picture a detailed image of the world around the players, and practice relaying what you see.

(this is also a great way to get better at improvising descriptions on the fly during the game - describe what you see in your mind's eye in response to players' actions.)

Describe the World through the Heroes' eyes

Describe the things the players can directly perceive from their perspective (imagine a camera looking through their eyes).

Focus on the things the players would pay the most attention to - don't describe the intricate mosaic on the walls when there's a gigantic poison-dripping spider-monster in the middle of the room.

Describe the world through the lense of the player character you're talking to - a horny barbarian, a paranoid thief, and a germaphobe wizard will notice different things when they walk into the bar.

If you don't know who the player characters will be when you write your adventure - that's okay, just imagine the adventure from the players' perspective, try to understand what they're currently experiencing, and focus on that.

Use Details and Invoke all Senses

The most useful description writing tip I have learned is that you don't have to describe the laundry list of everything the players can see, you just need to pick a couple of the most relevant, extremely specific details.

This will make the players feel immersed. When a single detail evokes the experience you want - the players' minds will naturally fill in the rest of the details on their own, and your scene will come to life.

A great way to make your descriptions more detailed is to include the details from all the senses, not just the vision. What do the players see, hear, and smell? What do the objects feel like to the touch?

• To describe a nobleman's expensive bedroom - describe the soft rug under the player's feet, the scent of fine leather from the furniture.
• To describe a cozy tavern - describe the crackling of the wood in the fireplace, the smell of the vegetable stew that's being served at the table next to them.
• To describe a grizzled veteran warrior - describe the scratching sound his hand makes as he rubs it through a couple days worth of stubble, or the way his perfectly maintained sword contrasts with his dirty unkempt clothes.

Use Precise Language

To create immersive descriptions, try to make them more concrete and specific, less abstract.

Use specific words instead of the generic ones:

• "Looked at" => "Gaped", "Stared", "Leered"
• "Fell" => "Plummeted"
• "Laughed" => "Grinned", "Cackled"
• "Ship" => "Frigate"
• "Very happy" => "Thrilled"
• "Group of Orcs" => "Horde of Orcs"
• "Old woman" => "Wretched hag"
• "Big hairy dog" => "Shaggy Rottweiler"

Avoid adverbs (words that modify verbs) and adjectives (words that modify nouns). Instead use stronger verbs and nouns:

• "The Orc screamed loudly" => "The Orc shrieked", "The Orc Bellowed"
• "He ran quickly" => "He sprinted", "he dashed"
• "He was very angry" => "He was outraged"
• "Small house" => "A shack"
• "Green trees" => "Pines"

Use active voice:

• "The boat has been destroyed by a hurricane" => "A hurricane has destroyed the boat."
• "The delicious brew was eaten" => "They ate the delicious brew"
• "The princess was rescued by a brave knight" => "The brave knight has rescued the princess"

Show don't tell:

• "You enter a spooky forest." => "Thick fog covers the ground. You see cobwebs stretched across the tree branches and hear the shrieking of crows in the distance."
• "It begins to rain" => "The sky darkens, you feel a few raindrops land on your skin. By the time you reach the house, your hair and clothes are soaking wet."
• "He looks happy" => "He giggles as he frolics around the meadow"
• "Pain coursed through him" => "He moved his arm and winced in pain."

Use (but don't overuse) analogies and figurative language:

• "Winter is cold." => "Winter grips your chests with its icy claws."
• "He is angry" => "He burns with the rage of ten thousand suns."

Note that the tips above mostly apply to the descriptions that are meant to be read out loud. When you're explaining to the GM what is going on in the scene - it's okay to use abstract language in order to quickly get to the point and convey your ideas concisely.

Vary your sentence length

Vary your sentence length to create rhythm. The best way to understand how is to read this famous quote:

This sentence has five words. Here are five more words. Five-word sentences are fine. But several together become monotonous. Listen to what is happening. The writing is getting boring. The sound of it drones. It’s like a stuck record. The ear demands some variety. Now listen. I vary the sentence length, and I create music. Music. The writing sings. It has a pleasant rhythm, a lilt, a harmony. I use short sentences. And I use sentences of medium length. And sometimes, when I am certain the reader is rested, I will engage him with a sentence of considerable length, a sentence that burns with energy and builds with all the impetus of a crescendo, the roll of the drums, the crash of the cymbals – sounds that say listen to this, it is important.

Manage the Learning Curve

Don't throw a bunch of information (exposition, names, locations, concepts, etc.) at your readers/players at the same time - people will get bored, distracted, and start forgetting things.

Reveal information in bits and pieces, as they become relevant. Explain the details of the world and its culture or magic when they come up (or when the players request them), not in advance.

Describing the characters

In addition to all of the tips above, you want to describe more than just the character's physical appearance. Describe their mannerisms, behaviors, expressions and emotions.

Does the character seem energetic or exhausted? Do they have an air of satisfaction in their work or are they just trying to get through the day? Are they looking at you kindly, menacingly, resentfully?

Describe how their speech sounds like, the tone and aspects (pitch, volume, etc.) of their voice.

Learn from your favorite authors

Read and watch DnD shows. Pay attention to how your favorite authors and GMs describe things. Watch Dimension 20 and Critical Role, and try to emulate how Brennan and Matt describe their scenes.

Don't try to use all these tips at once

As you can see, there's a lot that goes into writing good descriptions. Practice these tips one at a time, mastering this is a life-long process.

Right now what matters most is that your language is clear and easy to understand.

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Activity

• Write the boxed-text descriptions for the most interesting and important scenes.
• Write brief descriptions of the most important characters (starting with the antagonist).
• Write the dialogue boxes for the most dramatic and important conversations.
• Share the link to your draft in #descriptions-and-dialogue channel.